of monsters and men: little talks.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE POSTING DYL SETS AND STORIES GAHG
okay so this is a build up to drama. just so you know, guys.
so, for now it's just a filler.
also, i'm trying a new layout. idk what i think of it yet. inspired by the amazinngtalentedmakesmejelly @mclovinn
October 20th, 2012:
The TV is on,
I am sat on the sofa,
and I am watching it.
But really I'm not.
all I was seeing was an old re-run,
flashing about the screen.
My attention and mindset
somewhere completely different.
I was ill.
At least that's what Ash would tell people.
He'd even tell me,
"You'll get better soon. It's just stress."
Both of those statements were wrong.
getting better wasn't on the horizon.
this was more than stress.
It was beyond that now.
It was everything.
From Ivy's death, to Chris's death,
to my parents...
I hadn't eaten much more than a handful of grapes in weeks.
Nightmares constantly invaded all sense of sleeping.
I just wanted this to all stop.
I was bored of it.
All of it.
I was a seventeen year old girl,
who'd gone through more sh/it than a fifty year old drug dealing prostitute.
"Have you taken your pills?" Ash asks,
as he does everyday.
And I nod.
As I do. Everyday.
I then receive a soft kiss on my forehead.
As if to say "well done, Dylan".
But I could see,
that this is killing Ash
just as much as it was killing me.
Burning away at the strong exterior he'd put up like acid.
The acid was me, though,
In reality. I was killing us.
My darling brother.
I was putting him through this also.
And it hurt me so to know that.
Even the pills weren't helping me.
They didn't stop me thinking,
Wasn't that what they were supposed to do?
I pull the blanket covering me closer,
so that I could disguise my face.
Ash would look over,
see that I was upset,
and then worry.
I didn't want him to worry.
All he did was worry.
"Wanna do something today?"
"Do I ever want to do something?"
I murmur into the blanket.
He then jumps up and whips the blanket
straight out of my grip.
"No." I whine into the pillow.
But whether I wanted to
... or not ...
I was going.
"Where are we going?"
All we kept passing was tree's and greenery.
It was worrying.
"It's a surprise."
Ash kept repeating that.
I hated surprises, though.
Especially at eleven o'clock in the morning.
Especially on days like this.
We pull up at a small opening,
where in Coldgrove we where I wasn't sure;
but all that surrounded us was tree's.
Usually I'd find that intriguing,
today I'd much rather intrigue myself
with the sofa.
"Let's go." Ash commands.
He climbs out of the car and opens my door,
practically dragging me out to standing.
The air is chilly. It always was during the Autumn months.
I pull my sweater closer to me.
Thanking myself that I chose flats as we begin our trudge through the mud and into the forest of golden yellows and burnt oranges.
Reminding me how much I loved Autumn.
"It's pretty out here."
I murmur to no one in particular,
and then hitch myself to Ash's arm.
He swings an arm around my shoulder;
without a care.
"Just like you."
Compliments I'd always hated.
They made me giddy and vulnerable.
"But you /are/ beautiful, Dylan." And he says it,
with such meaning that it scares me.
And I reply,
"No. No I am not."
He simply shakes his head,
he kisses my forehead.
"This way." He guides me.
Through a dark, eerie set of trees,
into the early morning mist.
All there is before us is a tree.
Plotted in the middle of an outstretch of grass.
"This is our tree."
I watch as Ash runs up to it,
grinning like a child.
He looked happy.
I giggle. "But it's just a tree."
I say and skip over to him and the tree.
"Oh no." Ash frowns. "No it's not."
I raise a brow.
"It is our tree, Miss Richards,
therefore it is so much more."
Then, he digs into his rucksack, and pulls out a pocket knife.
At first I wonder what's going on,
but then I realize.
Ash begins to carve into bark an 'A'.
The veins in his arms bulging
as he put all he had
into those first letters.
He was carving a heart now.
The symbol for all things love.
For what was supposedly our relationship.
But, to me, the tree fit perfectly.
That was our symbol.
And I couldn't think of anything better.
"Let me try," I mumble,
wrapping my own hand around Ash's-
and we carved my initials then.
Ash pulls me close.
We admire our creation for a while,
I smile the whole time we do so,
feeling more happy than I had in a long time.
As my head rested in the curve of Ash's shoulder,
I clutched onto his checkered shirt,
and I breathed in his scent.
It was him...
and without him, I wouldn't be me.
He was the missing piece.
"I know we're too young to talk about forever, Ash.
But right now, this is what we feel like to me.
Forever. It's what I want us to be."
He inhales sharply.
Turning me around so that he can clutch my face,
and kiss me.
The first real kiss we'd had in a while.
Where I had to force myself onto my tip-toes,
like when I danced.
It hurt doing it, but I lived off of the feeling-
I adored it.
"I'm sorry that you're girlfriend is fu/cked up,"
I whisper against his cheek, smirking sickeningly.
He pulls me so that we're eye to eye.
He looks angry-
"People are messed up in this world.
Okay. But I'd rather be with someone...
so, so screwed up, and open about it,
than somebody perfect
and ready to explode."
He kisses me swiftly again.
"I'd rather be with you,
than anyone at all."
I whisper proudly.
Never meaning one sentence so much in my life.